9/16/2009

I can't sleep- 4:05am

I woke up at 3:40am to the sound of Bradley calling out "mommy...my nose".
When I went into his room he had another bloody nose. He gets these often, because of dry skin. It's something I also went through as a kid. Darn dry skin!

Anyway, 15 mins later I went back to bed and I couldn't fall asleep. Mainly because I keep thinking about last Friday.

On the way (walking Bradley) to school, I was holding my little guys hand. We walked as a family talking about what fun things he might do that day (at his 2nd day at school). As we came closer to the gate (where his class was) Bradley, started to let go of my hand. We were still about 80 feet away from the gate and then this happened...

Bradley "Mommy, you can let go of my hand now"
Mommy "We aren't to the gate yet"
Bradley "It's okay (as a let go)"

It was at that moment I realized he is no longer a baby. It was at that moment I realized holding a mommy's hand... might not be the coolest thing in the world. Such a simple little thing broke my mommy heart. I wasn't ready to let go of his hand! HECK... I'm still not ready!

That 2nd day was WAAAAAY harder than the first day. I thought about it all day, over the weekend and still now! I know he loves me, but man it was hard to hear!

I know most people would think... "Heidi, you're such a dork!", but I don't know... it just made me sad! Knowing how fast he is growing up!

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3 comments:

Amber said...

Awww...I don't think that's dorky! I know I am going to be the same way when I have kids! They grow up SO fast!

cheryln said...

you're not a dork at all! hugs!!!

Jason said...

Heidi,
I'm a big boy and I will still hold your hand. Love ya.