3/05/2012

Motherhood is rough!

When you first realize that your preggo you think "I'm going to do everything right for this baby".
Over this last two months our family has been through some crazy stuff. Thus the reason for not blogging so often.
Sad face.

At the beginning of the school year Mr. Sonboul and I noticed some learning issues with Bradley. Bradley was SUCH a SMART baby... I know that every mom says this about their baby...but really this kid was smart and was talking at a creepy young age. Super smart kid! Once 3rd grade started he was getting more and more behind and Mr. Sonboul and I couldn't figure out what was going on. Then one night while helping with word math problems I realized... "oh my... Bradley must have the audio/visual delay that I have!". I started beating myself up inside, because even though it hasn't been proven "genetically"... I just knew that he had it and that it came from me.

As a child I really struggled to learn how to read and do math. Even the word "struggled" just doesn't even do it justice! As a teen I over came a lot of it and by adult time I was 95% okay... I'm still a bad speller...shh :)
So realizing that Bradley might have this, it was killing me inside. I started eating emotionally again and yes even put back on that awesome 17lb loss (over 3 months) :(

We decided to have him tested and oh man was that a waiting game with the school. Luckily my BFF is a special needs teacher and knew all the codes. She helped us draft up a letter that pushed it all along. Finally around CHA time they started the testing. I pretty much spent CHA time thinking about this every second. Everyday I talked to the lady testing him and she said "Your kid is REALLY smart, so there has got to be something going on if his grades are this low". Finally the results came back and I was right. Bradley and I both have an audio/visual delay. We never noticed it because he was reading by the time he was 4-5 years old. I thought that pushed him into the clear zone. However, I taught him to read and because I was taught like a child with a "learning disability"... not realizing it... I taught him how I was taught and how they teach in the learning centers.

We got him approved for the IEP and then came the second issue. On one of the tests it showed that Bradley has VERY low self-esteem, which is not like him at all. After talking to him I found out that his teacher has been yelling at him for the past 5 months and holding him in for almost every single recess and lunch break to do  "make up work". The worse part is that she wasn't even teaching him in a way he could understand and so the poor thing would just sit there and miss almost every break. I was SO TICKED off at this and started fighting back two weeks ago. I pulled him from her class and wrote her a 5 page letter. This sounds great & all, but we needed to get the school to make room for him. All the classrooms were full. WHAT A HEADACHE!

Then what a blessing, last week on Thursday we made the switch happen when I threatened to go to the school's district. It was all such a mess and finally Bradley was in a really great new class. When the bell rang on Thursday afternoon, this little boy (I've been missing since last summer) came out of the class door with a massive smile on his face. He couldn't stop talking about the teacher and how fun/great she was. What a night and day difference! His love of learning was back and I couldn't help but kick myself for not changing him sooner or noticing sooner.

I feel like I'm staying on top of everything and taking one day at a time. I'm just overwhelmed, but grateful this part is over. Now, how do I restart my weight loss when I can't control motherhood?! Why do schools allow bad teachers in them?! This is the best school in town and so the school is great...just not this 1 teacher. Luckily she is retiring this year.

Well regardless, there it all is. It's been a long fight, but we won. NOW... I'm getting back on the weight loss wagon, knowing that Bradley is doing much better. I'm going back to my 7am workout time and will be hopping that nothing else crazy comes up. Here's hopping our luck will finally change. knock on wood, fingers crossed...a rabbits foot and anything else that will help X 10.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I know it was a little long.
~H

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14 comments:

Emilie LaCokine said...

Hi Heidi, thanks for sharing this post. My daughter is just a baby right now but I look forward to putting her in school and watch her learn all that new stuff. Thanks for reminding me that there will be bad time but we must do what we can to overcome it. You did a terrific job at standing up for your kid. Don't beat yourself up. I hope I can do just as good for my daughter some day. :)

Michelle Lanning said...

Being a teacher myself, know this, I do not know ANY teacher that means to bring down any students self esteem. My guess is this (and I am not making an excuse for the teacher), she saw how smart he was/is and so had him stay in to finish his work, I don't see anything wrong with this. I do think it is wrong that she didn't check closer to see what he was having difficulties with. I am assuming you are in LAUSD, and there are more than 30 kids in a class? It's tough and third grade is very tough. To be fair, the teacher wasn't allowed to even work with this new knowledge of an IEP and all the accomadations she could now make. As a teacher, I know how disruptive it is to have a student pulled from one class and changed to another. More than likely, that is why you had a hard time. I am glad that you are all more comfortable in your new class and hope that Bradley will start to succeed.

Leslie said...

You go Mamma Bear!!! So glad for Bradley and his new IEP. Give him hugs from his Auntie!

Sharon said...

Heidi, I am so proud of you for standing up for Bradley! I remember having to do that a couple of times, and it was very hard. Unfortunately, for all of the wonderful teachers, there are still a few bad ones. Now you can reward yourself by taking care of your needs too.

The Ark said...

Heidi, As your Mom and Nana to our grandchildren, I know there have been lots of tears and stress over this situation, but you perserved as you alway do and you won the battle! Good for you! On Sunday,I could see the sparkle in Bradley's eyes again. Love, Mom

Diana Waite said...

WAY to stick up for you boy! My friend told me once, "you KNOW your child and sometimes you are your child's ONLY advocate, you need to do what you feel is right" WOW--puts a perspective on things! Proud of you--you can get back on the horse and lose those lbs. again! :)

Nicole said...

Your poor son. That teacher should be ashamed... Motherhood is ROUGH and it's better to recognize something a little later, than never. I'm glad he is happy again. I had a really hard time in school too... but in the end, everything works out... doesn't it?

Danielle said...

Motherhood is rough! I have dealt with a lot with my older daughter having ADHD. For many years, we struggled in all aspects of school - it breaks my heart to think back at everything she has endured, but I realize it's not my fault, and I can only do so much for her. I believe she's on the right path now finally. :) You struggle with what's the right thing to do as a mom..it's so hard...it's a lot of responsibility to shape a little one's life! You're a great mom. Hugs!

Kerry said...

Well done for fighting his corner.

I have two sons with additional needs (both have diagnoses on the autistic spectrum) and I've experienced good and bad teaching understanding from both young and old teachers so I totally get how frustrating it can be.

Trine Brandt-Lassen said...

Thanks for sharing. Motherhood Can be rough! Our son starts school this summer and what you describe is my worse nightmare. So happy it worked out for all of you.

Amy Heller said...

Oh, Heidi. I can relate with so much of what you've been dealing with. Both my kids have sensory issues and, I fought for 3 yrs before they (insurance) would do anything for my daughter and have been taking my son now to OT for as long. The whole process, is stressful and emotionally exhausting dealing with schools, doctors, insurance, therapists...As if thats not enough, then there's the weight thing. I KNOW what that's all about, too. Emotional eater right here. Just know you are doing a fantastic job and that this tool shall pass and Bradley is so blessed to have you and his dad fighting for him. That's the most important thing. That smile he had that day, makes up for it all, doesn't it?

Deborah Mahnken said...

Wow. I can't believe that teacher is still teaching. I would think being a teacher it's her job to help identify potential problems, not make things worse. It's hard when you find out half way through the school year too - not the same, but we found out late that Thomas had been bullied for most of last year and it was heartbreaking. Kudos to you for pushing back. :)

Katherine B said...

wow...what teacher does that?? I always tell my mom friends that if you have ANY free time, get into your kids classroom for an hour just to get vibes about your kids teacher...do a "drop-in"....I know from having a child with "different abilities" that you may not be their only advocate, but you ARE their BEST advocate! Scrapbooking introduced me to some of the best special education teachers who are now all my buddies and they do come in handy when encountering stuff like this! KUDOS to you for knowing Bradley and catching it right away! ps-I never believe in making a kid stay in to make up stuff; I encourage my teachers (translate=bribe with scrapbooky gifts) to call ME at the beginning so we can work TOGETHER to resolve any issues....homemade scrapbook presents are really appreciated; sometimes our teachers are underappreciated and they take it out on our children...

Katherine B said...

ps- sorry so long of a post...I'm just a big advocate of No Child Left Behind and inclusion :):)