10/12/2011

Weight loss Wednesdays Week 3

This week has been an emotional journey.
I had many crazy deadlines, at the end of last week the school lost Calvin ( I told you he was spirited ) and we almost took a vacation to Arizona.


Needless to say... I put on weight this week. I know that ups and downs are normal and I know that this is part of the journey, but it still sucks. This is me being honestly raw and I think that most women truly struggle with this. I think it's because we long to be perfect in other's eyes and it's sometimes why it allows us to be nasty or cattyto each other. I long for that Christ like love for all my fellow sisters. Whether she's over 200lbs, whether she's a better crafter than I, or whether she 's mean and nasty. I want to see the good in everyone and I feel that this raw honesty allows me to step closer to it.


I have many beautiful things hanging in my closet (that are sizes reachable 14-16's), but I realize that those will not truly fix my stress of Calvin, PTA, Church callings, being a good family member, an amazing wife, a better mother, Bradley and the homework from 3rd grade and so much more. It's in those stressful moments where I have to fight the food addiction.
I told Mr. Sonboul that "I think food is fun". All my best childhood memories had food involved in them. Birthday parties, family holidays, traditions and trips. It's just what we did and do! My boys are amazingly healthy, I made sure of that...but now to pull myself up to where I want to be in sooo hard and a struggle.


Remember that bodybugg I wanted? After being out and about the other day, I came home to it sitting on my door step. My dear and sweet sister Penny bought it for me for a birthday gift ( my birthday is on Oct 31st ) . Hands down... it's the best gift ever and I feel even more loved knowing that she has faith in me and knows that I can do this. You see, it's that Christ like love that I want to circle myself around. Those are the people that will lift me and the food will soon just become the fuel . The energy to fully savormy life here on earth. I feel like I'm rambling on and I'm most likely putting myself out there way toomuch, but I am looking to be 100% honest in all areas of my life. Again people, I love myself I just also love food ;) IDo not feel bad for those pounds I put on, because I will take them back off... it was just a rough week and I allowed myself to be human. And... being human is a beautiful thing!
Lesson learned this week:


1. Remember to breathe if Calvin runs away from the teacher {Thank heavens a friend found him on the school grounds}.
2. My Mr. Sonboul loves me so much.
3. My boys are my everything and I want to be their most important example in life.
4. Continue to circle myself with amazing family and friends.
5. My sister believes in me and that gives me strength
6. Just because I take the ice cream out of the home... I'll still find other things to snack on
7. Sunny days help me make healthy choices {maybe it's because I picture myself in a vintage swimsuit}
8. Don't give up and keep going!
9. Honesty is truly the best policy and helps me to get stress out so I can focus.

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7 comments:

Emilie said...

BRAVO amazing friend!
You KNOW I feel you on this one.

Anonymous said...

I love this post! Love you tons Heidi. YOU CAN DO IT AND YOU WILL!

wendipooh13 said...

Heidi I LOVE your real and raw post!!!! honesty is the best and you nailed it!!!! girl you can do it and we all slip... keep us the good work girl... I'm sooooo glad that I'm in your ward now!!!

Jennifer Chapin said...

Don't be so hard on yourself....I love food too! A LOT :) You will get there. Just remember, your happiness doesn't have to be attached to anything....you won't magically be happier when you drop 30 lbs. You can be happy NOW :)

Have you read the book Women, Food and God? I definitely recommend it. Finished it in 2 days.

Leslie said...

How cute of Penny. Hang in there and let me know if there is anything I can do to help. My advice have quick snacks pre-prepared for busy days and when you have a craving work out ten minutes before you cave. Chances are the work out will make it go away. Love ya

Melanie said...

You have such a good attitude! I wanted to tell you that your photos a couple of weeks ago and your desire to lose weight inspired me to try. It's been a really rough year for me, but I decided I had to at least try to be healthy instead of just throwing my hands in the air and giving up. I'm such an emotional eater. But now I just keep a good stock of chewing gum handy. So when I want to grab something to eat, I put a stick of gum in my mouth and chew on that to get my stress out. Thanks for sharing your heart--it's reality that we are living in so it's good to hear real things. :)

Amy said...

one day at a time dear!! You can totally do this :)!!! I love food too! I just try to walk a little farther if I ate too much :)!! You can rock this girl!!!