my story this day

Today was a very long and hard day for me. There was a lot of emotion I've been pushing down for sometime and today it all came up. This is something I would never tell a soul, but I'm starting a new chapter in my life. In my short 26 years I've been through a lot of sadness, stress and drama, but besides that all I've been a very happy go lucky person. A person who works fast and hard, give others what they want, makes other laugh and goes above and beyond. I like this about me, but today it was all to much!

I think as women we all have are moments where we can't keep pushing down our issues and this day was mine. My dad was put into the hospital, I got into a fight with Jason, we missed church because I'm too chubby and couldn't find anything to wear and our house was a mess. These 4 things were all to much for me to handle in one day!

As I sat in the bath room crying and getting it all out I heard my (sweet and wise beyond his years) son (who is 5) Singing " I feel my Saviors love" (a song I didn't know he knew all the words to). This touched my soul and gave me more than hope.

So here is my promise to myself

- I will stop pushing down feelings and confront the issue (if there is one)!
- I will stop seeking for approval for the small things... that JUST DON'T MATTER!
- I will stop and take a moment to breath
- I will not feel bad if I need to cry it out (because crying can be beautiful)

Life is so short and I want to live EVERY SECOND OF IT HAPPY! For some of you this might be to much info, but at 12:48 am and me sitting here with my thoughts alone... I thought "I'm sure I'm not the only one out there who had a bad day, on Sunday". Thanks for letting me get this out.


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Just Me said...

Having a bad day is not a bad thing. I know how you feel though; I've always been one to hide my feeling and sometimes they just explode. I hope that you are feeling better, I know that there are a ton of people that love you! Your a great friend!

Holly said...

no, you're not the only one. I'm glad you were able to hear the song your son was singing and that it made a difference. Sometime's it's hard to let go of all the little things that don't matter, but it's true that they really don't. Wishing you a happier day!

Justin and Kim said...

Seriously, catching my breath is one of the hardest things to do (and can cometimes take days or weeks), I hope you have a better day, if not, I always remember that chocolate will love me no matter what!

Grace Tolman said...

oh my dear friend, I'm so sad that you were having such a day yesterday! You know that Bradley singing that song is Heavenly Father's way of showing you that you ARE LOVED!!! You are such a cheerful person and I didn't even realize you had so much bottled in.
Hope you're feeling better today and don't forget I'm only a phone call away. Take care. :)

mcbetty said...

How sweet that your son was the angel sent at the right time for you to hear when life became overwhelming.

joslyn said...

just ran across your blog and love this post. i have cried before church many times cuz nothing fits. just glad to know that someone else does this. great layouts love your work.